DJ100's story



  • Dec Jefferson December 31, 2009 at 9:21pm
    a bit of background… im 19 years old now.

    however, when i was at school, i was very quiet and a target to get picked on. i got the "usual" bullying which i have long forgotten, but the one event that sticks out is this:

    when i was in year 8 or 9, i was innocently doing my work in a tech lesson.
    then, out of nowhere, i get a massive BANG on the back of my neck. i turn around and see someone from my cla* s called sam walking off briskly.
    this guy sam: i dont think i ever even spoke to him let alone do anything wrong to him, so he had no reason whatsoever to punch me.
    it was an assault basically, if it happened outside of school i could have gone to the police. but at the time, because i didnt actually see him doing it, i didnt want to make a fool of myself in case i was wrong.... i didnt even feel i could tell a teacher as i didnt actually see it happening.

    (i did tell the teacher another time about the other stuff sam did to me, and he got in big trouble for it, but that is no consolation for the punch and the effect it has had).

    The effect it has had: well, my neck still clicks and cracks every day from it. Every morning i wake up to a bad neck. At points during every day it clicks and aches. However I have been to many doctors, physios and chiropractors who cannot get rid of the clicking.
    Its a psychological thing: everytime it clicks it reminds me of sam, and makes me think that my present (6 years on from the event) is still being completely dictated by what he did.

    Ok so more about the present: i am at uni and I am seeing an NHS CBT therapist (cognitive behavioural therapy). This is outside of uni but its going fairly well. Had 9 sessions so far out of a possible 20.
    It is nice to share my feelings.
    HOWEVER, i am a bit worried in the long term because it is still not really changing anything, i will have to be blunt with my therapist about this when i next see him, i hope he isnt offended.

    Thanks for taking the time to read this.



  • It is psychological – the point of CBT is to change abnormal thoughts and coping mechanisms. Explain to your therapist how you don't see much change, especially if your half way through your limit. You should have some treatment goals and methods to reach those goals, if this sounds unfamiliar to you, bring it up to your therapist or find a new one.

    As tragic as your incident was, at some point, you have to forgive and move on. It may seem difficult with a constant neck clicking but, you have to find some way around it. Seeing as though I am only a therapist in training, I cannot necessarily give you appropriate advice -- talk to your therapist. :)



  • @tinnamariee:

    It is psychological – the point of CBT is to change abnormal thoughts and coping mechanisms. Explain to your therapist how you don't see much change, especially if your half way through your limit. You should have some treatment goals and methods to reach those goals, if this sounds unfamiliar to you, bring it up to your therapist or find a new one.

    As tragic as your incident was, at some point, you have to forgive and move on. It may seem difficult with a constant neck clicking but, you have to find some way around it. Seeing as though I am only a therapist in training, I cannot necessarily give you appropriate advice -- talk to your therapist. :)

    like today i was happily in the gym then my neck clicked and reminded me… and it gives me excess saliva in my mouth when i worry about it - any idea why?
    is this a normal side effect of anxiety?
    please reply.



  • You must live a fairly charmed life if your greatest complaint is being punched in the neck six years ago. While I can sympathize, I too suffer neck pain (right? or is it just clicking?), why is it you don't take any of the advice offered all over this forum and, from what you have shared, other forums too?

    I understand venting but, really, have you truly committed to getting better? Maybe you have become addicted to these little pity parties you're throwing for yourself.

    You're at uni, forget about the petty nonsense that went on in high school and enjoy yourself. Go out and party, meet some girls (or boys) and try to get lucky. I guarantee you won't be thinking about your neck or Sam during that. You'll really kick yourself later if you spend all your time now worrying about something that happened in 9th grade.

    And seriously, not to minimize your pain, but how bad could a punch in the neck really be? It couldn't be worse than the car that slammed into me when I was in high school. Thank g* d I didn't spend all of uni obsessing over the chronic pain it caused me. I went to a chiropractor once a week and took some pain killers if it started to act up and spent the rest of the time going to cla* s and having a good time.

    Anyway I am not trying to be a ball buster here but take some time and think about it, think about exactly what you are getting out of holding on to all this pain and angst. Looks to me like nothing at all.

    Take care, be well and for God's sake, go have some fun.



  • Yes, but….
    Yes, but...
    Yes, BUT...



  • @jb09:

    You must live a fairly charmed life if your greatest complaint is being punched in the neck six years ago. While I can sympathize, I too suffer neck pain (right? or is it just clicking?), why is it you don't take any of the advice offered all over this forum and, from what you have shared, other forums too?

    I understand venting but, really, have you truly committed to getting better? Maybe you have become addicted to these little pity parties you're throwing for yourself.

    You're at uni, forget about the petty nonsense that went on in high school and enjoy yourself. Go out and party, meet some girls (or boys) and try to get lucky. I guarantee you won't be thinking about your neck or Sam during that. You'll really kick yourself later if you spend all your time now worrying about something that happened in 9th grade.

    And seriously, not to minimize your pain, but how bad could a punch in the neck really be? It couldn't be worse than the car that slammed into me when I was in high school. Thank g* d I didn't spend all of uni obsessing over the chronic pain it caused me. I went to a chiropractor once a week and took some pain killers if it started to act up and spent the rest of the time going to cla* s and having a good time.

    Anyway I am not trying to be a ball buster here but take some time and think about it, think about exactly what you are getting out of holding on to all this pain and angst. Looks to me like nothing at all.

    Take care, be well and for God's sake, go have some fun.

    Someone that understands me, thank you :)


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